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AquilaTempestas

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Blog Entries posted by AquilaTempestas

  1. AquilaTempestas
    Wow, what a year it has been thus far thanks to the COVID-19 pandemic making a mess of everything.
    But I'm not gonna use this blog to talk about that since we're all very familiar with it
    Rather, I'm gonna write down some small details about things I've learned in my highschool field placement experiences thus far!
    School 1 - Public Co-Educational School
    Very low socio-economic school Large percentage of students are indigenous or Polynesian School is overcrowded Lack of funding Low attendance rates and high rates of skipping classes Kids really don't want to learn On mobile phones during class  Tiny classrooms, no air conditioning, very run down All I got was a piece of paper with my name on it for my induction School 2- Public Co-Educational School
    Upper class. Very wealthy area. Hard school to get into Big classrooms. Air-conditioned rooms. School even has elevators. High percentage of non-white students (particularly Chinese, Japanese, Korean and Indian) Kids actually want to learn. They listen attentively and are respectful. Each class is super quiet and people wait their turns to speal I got a laminated card for my induction Very modern sleek classrooms Guys less interested in learning than the girls (but all willing to work for the full 70 mins) Students respect the rules (no mobile phones to be used etc) School 2 - Private Catholic All-Boys School
    Year 12 boys are scared of girls (to teacher - but Miss, it'll be awkward (in regards to sharing a table with me) Year 9 boys are happy to sit near the girl (me) Hard to keep teenage boys motivated for a full 70 minutes Guys are really chatty. More chatty than girls (I went to an all girls) Prayers at the end of each class day I got a cool magnetic badge, a stationary kit, the school diary, the school calendar, and a bunch of booklets about health and safety, policies and procedures, induction notes, religious stuff etc Students respect the rules (no mobile phones to be used etc)  
  2. AquilaTempestas
    Wow. It's been a long time since I last posted in my online journal thing. That's not really surprising. I've got a poor history in keeping blogs updated.
    Anyways. It's getting closer to 2020. This would normally fill people with excitement, but I'm not feeling it.
    Has 2019 been a bad year per say? Not really. My uncle did get cancer (in the bile duct actually, but he was extremely lucky to have the best surgeon in the state to cure it - literally had to lose 80% of his liver though, but he's okay now). My cousin survived her first year of parenthood. I had an excellent year at university and met some awesome new people. I also managed to complete a fantasy story I had been wanting to write for years.
    But despite the good news, I still feel miserable. I have to keep asking myself, what exactly have I achieved that I can be proud of? I'm 27. Sadly living at home because I don't have a job to support myself on my lonesome. Standard of living in Australia is very high too unfortunately so without a decent paying constant job, you won't be doing much. And it sucks. I feel like I should be somewhere in life now. Doing something. Travelling. Having a stable income. Living in my own house. Having my own car and the like. Possibly even be in a stable relationship. The things you're 'supposed' to have by the time you hit a certain number.
    I've got two more years of study left and I do hope that will finally give me a life I should've had years ago. It's been a constant battle trying to find work - I'm either too qualified for a role, under qualified, lacking my own private transport or just lacking something personality wise. Hm. Aside from the job issue, my own health has kinda declined over the past couple of months and I blame that on stress I have inflicted on myself. I'm currently battling an acne issue (a mild form fortunately - no bright red bumps or anything like that) and it's proving to be quite difficult to get rid of. So now I have to force myself to take a bunch of capsules that will hopefully help me get over this. Not only that, but this horrible bush fire smoke is causing irritation problems in my throat, eyes and nose too. So now I have slightly blurry vision in my right eye because I keep rubbing my eyes and they go red. As a result, I'm trying to lessen the amount of time spent looking at screens to give my eyes a chance to recover. These health capsules also apparently aid eye vision or otherwise I'll be eating lots of carrot.
    In regards to writing, I'm calling it quits at the end of 2020. I've retired so many times on fanfiction.net now, I don't think I have any readers left. I feel like I've almost reached a point in life where I've written all the stories I want to write. I have one more idea I want to explore before pulling the plug on major projects though I'll probably still do the odd one shot here and there. My target market just isn't there anymore. Besides, with full two years of study left (including a full prac year and god knows where I'll end up at), I won't have the time to dedicate myself to this hobby. Friendship wise, I've met some cool people at the university. So that's a positive. Relationship wise (I still have people getting on my case about it and I'm certain it has an affect on other areas of life), still failing in that regard. I'm a strong believer than when you get to a certain age with extreme limited experience, you're dead weight. So yay. Here's to living and dying alone in some dodgy town in the Australian outback. Maybe I'll have a farm of chickens to keep me company. All I have at 27 is a big university loan and because I don't have a job, no retirement fund either. Yay. And I've tried. I hate that feeling of failing my parents. I do wonder if they ever look at me and think 'wow what a loser' and that's the thought that scares me the most. 
    Anyways. Sometimes I look back on the things people have said to me and I wonder if their words actually were true. Maybe there really is no hope for me. Maybe I'm just one of those people born to not succeed in life. People that are just born to go through the daily grind and fail over and over again at meeting the social expectations society has laid upon them. There are times I really do wish I was someone else. Times when I think how many people would actually care if I died? I get tired of people telling me everything's going to be okay. But I remind myself there are things worth living for and one day (it might not be this day or time yet), things will lift. Maybe. But it's the maybe that keeps me waking up each morning.
    Well, if you managed to read through this, congratulations. I wasn't expecting anyone to get through this miserable wall of text. I guess the moral of this is simply hang onto the maybe - one day fortunes will change. All the people around you that seem so happy? They have their own issues too.
  3. AquilaTempestas
    Sometimes I wonder what my purpose for living is. I often find myself looking at my family members and thinking 'damn, what the hell did I do in my past life to be the failure'
    I think about my former colleagues and see the lives they are living now and I think to myself, 'I guess this is what I deserve for being an asshole'. So I think that perhaps some people are just born to be lucky and others are just destined to fail no matter what. I've never been a believer in destiny and such, but now I'm just not so sure. 
    I look at my life thus far and I struggle to come up with the good. The achievements. Everything I've done just seems so insignificant and just ended up in failure anyway.
    Let's look at my family. Both sides and the ones that are still alive.
    Mum's side
    Huge family but most of them live in the Philippines so I never have contact with them anyway, but they've all got jobs and families and such.
    Only one sister lives here in Australia. Don't get me wrong, she's nice, an excellent cook and very hospitable, but she can be quite competitive and always looking to downplay the achievements of other family members.
    My cousin. Looks call her A. She's generous. She would never stab you in the back. But she even said it herself, 'she's superficial and shallow'. She's the sort of person you can't have an opinion with because she'll get offended if you disagree. I remember this one time we were talking about creative writing. She's a teacher, an english teacher, but she's never written a story before in her life. Yes, you teach it, but it's not the same as actually doing it yourself. Now I said to her, you don't know what it's like to write a story from the ground up; to create characters and bring them to life; to write a novel but of course, since I am not a qualified teacher yet, I don't know shit. And I said, you can't teach someone how to write. Writing comes from the heart and the imagination. Of course. She didn't believe that, but my cousin is one of those people who thinks that she is perfect and can do no wrong. 
    She's having a kid in November, and honestly? I don't give a shit. Yeah. Maybe I'm a horrible person for thinking that, but I can't find it in me to care. She never visits even though she'll happily visit her friend who lives a few blocks away. When their family moved back to Sweden, they never even bothered to contact us (we tried but got ignored). Not a single word except for that one time they actually did call on my birthday... completely drunk. Cheers for that. The only time she ever comes to visit is because she wants something. But don't get me wrong. She's not a bad person by any means. Yes, she can be incredibly rude, like I said, she'd never intentionally harm someone and she does have a good sense of humour.
    The father. He's deceased, and truth be told, as horrible as this may seem, he deserved it. The guy was absolute lunatic. He left his children from his first wife to die back in Sweden. Didn't even visit them when they were on their last days of life. Didn't give a shit. He tried to get my parents to pay his credit card bills. He abused his wife (my mum's sister) and made her have an abortion the first time. He was a raging alcoholic and never had any money - always expected other people to pay his shit for him. There's heaps more to write but it makes my head hurt.
    Dad's side
    The other side of my family that is completely crazy. Now my mum's side are far more conservative in comparison. I have three cousins on this side and none of them went to university.
    When they get drunk, bad things happen. My uncle is a nice guy, but he's very short-tempered and very aggressive.  A very loud extroverted personality with an intimidating commanding presence.. Was always in trouble as kid, so I'm not really surprised my cousins are crazy too. But unlike my cousins, he's actually really smart. You know how usually the ex-wife gets the house in the divorce settlements? My uncle made sure she got nothing but the car and the kids.
    Cousin 1 - Eldest cousin. Very quiet in person, but polar opposite when drunk. 
    Cousin 2 - He's one year older than me and getting married this week. He's a plumber and his arrogant girlfriend is a real estate agent with a rich family (her grandparents sold a mansion in Sydney Harbour somewhere for a few million). He'd rather play games all day long and sometimes he takes an entire month of work just to play games all day long. So the only reason he's marrying her is that he hopes to get his hands on the money as well as they were promised a big payout if they got married (her family is religious)
    Cousin 3 - Youngest cousin and I don't know what goes through her head half the time. She's a full time cafe worker. A compulsive liar. And just batshit crazy.
     
    But I look at them and I think they're doing something right. They've got jobs. They've got friends. They have social lives. They have their own homes (well rented). They have boyfriends/girlfriends. They have cars. They seem happy.
    What do I have? I've got a business degree that got me nowhere. It was an administration thing. This girl that I worked with at the cafe has no degree and only did a six week business admin course she's got a job as admin. I live at home because I can't afford to live on my own without a job. I can't have a car because I can't afford to cover the costs in petrol, insurance and all the other crap they make us pay for here. Not to mention driving lessons are bloody expensive and I don't have anyone who can teach me (or wants too for that matter). I can't get a job due to no experience (personally I think it's because I don't have a car and they just don't like me) and all the jobs I have applied for in the past have involved friggen IQ exams... And of course, I'm too stupid to pass them so yay no job.
    I don't know. Sometimes I wish I was like the rest of my cousins. That I lived the lives they lived and that I had what they have for the experience. People tell me 'oh one day it will happen' but they've been saying the same old shit for years. I think relatives and friends of those relatives just look at me and feel embarrassed. Apparently, according to many of those said people, I am unusual and hard to understand. That I'm too weird for them to know because I don't check all the boxes. I'm almost 26 and I honestly feel like I've just wasted my life. So many people my age have jobs, have cars, have families, they have homes of their own, they've traveled... I've got nothing. I'm still trying to complete a teaching degree with hopes that perhaps I'll get something one day and finally live a proper age, but people are always like, 'oh you are going to be too old by then' (I'll be 30 when I become a qualified teacher), and 'no one is going to want a 30 year old with no experience in anything' (which is a valid reason. Who wants to be with someone who has no experience in life, love, career? I certainly wouldn't. Red flag anyone?'
    And don't even get me started on 'but you have written stories'. My response? Who gives a shit? It's not like my material was ever well received anyway. 'Oh you have a degree' a degree that doesn't mean shit and didn't help me anyway. Why you be so negative? I prefer to think of it as being realistic and not being delusional. 'Oh there's someone for everyone' Right. You said that five years ago. I can't even hold a conversation with randoms online because they lose interest after three days because I have no interest in sleeping with anyone until marriage (yeah, I'm a prude with old school views because that means something to me. It kinda reminds me of when we went to a big social event one day, and these guys were hitting on my cousin, and it was like I was completely invisible to everyone (though I should be used to that by now). Same thing at the school formal. I didn't have a partner to take (because you know it's not like anyone has ever shown interest in me - I am too boring and weird!) so I sat in the rejects corner at the formal and we got completely ignored by the camera crew because yay for social retards.
    As for the jobs I've worked in? Nothing flash. Felt completely retarded in each one and got treated like one too. First job? Fast food and I didn't get on with anyone there because they were all into drinking and partying and I wasn't. Second job? I left because my boss stopped giving me shifts because we had disagreements over stuff (like I didn't like how he was always a douche bag to people and criticizing them (including some sexist and racist comments). I remember he even said to me > 'How did you even get to university because you're so stupid' and 'You would make an awful mother because you can't do anything right. You're a dumbass and you're useless'. Yup. Direct quote. I'll never forget that. The third job? I got fired and there's a big long rant about that in the firing range but in short, I stood up for what I thought was right (like treating people fairly and not stealing money from the store), and got ganged up on by everyone at the top who went out of their way to stalk me on facebook even to use stuff against me. Yay.
    So yeah. I just feel like I'm just one of those people destined to fail no matter what. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't like parties because social events are exhausting to me. I'm an introvert and I find joy in the quiet simple things, but I'm starting to feel like hey, maybe I'm just a human social reject and I'm going to die alone and unloved. Heck. The friends I thought I had? Found me boring and moved on. I don't even have anyone to celebrate my own birthday with. How sad is that? Christmas parties? I'm the topic of discussion and generally questioned about my lack of a life from other people (relatives and the extended family).
    Yay for being me huzzah. Half the time I don't even feel like I belong in this world.
    And that's my sad little tale. Yes. There are people out there that have far worse lives. I get that. But I thought I'd write up my little chapter here. If I were ever to write a suicide note, this would probably be it with a few slight changes.
    If we were ever to meet in person, you'd probably walk away too because that is what everyone else has done.
  4. AquilaTempestas
    I learned today that my older cousin could be pregnant.
    Most relatives and friends would be happy with that news, but I'm not. I guess I'm just envious because I'll never have what she could have. Society is always so in your face about 'loneliness leads to an early death' and 'being single and childless means you'll be more miserable' and 'an active sex life makes you happier than someone who doesn't have one'. 
    With that shit constantly in your face, it's pretty hard to feel like you have some sort of value in this world when the unwritten rules of society state that you are a bit of a loser. No. Scratch that. You ARE a loser and you should feel like trash because you'll forever be unwanted. It's basically pretty rare to hear of people who have never been on a date by the age of 18. By the time you get to 25 like me, you are basically thrown on the 'red flag' zone because you check off every box of being a loser.
    No one wants someone with no experience whatsoever because you're just too much work. That's what I'm constantly being told. I've gotten to a point in life where it's just best to give up on that dream I used to have when I was just a school kid. Everyone else around me had no problems picking up dates and I'd be that person just ignored, like I didn't exist. I remember back at the highschool formal most people had dates (except for about five or so people) and the ones that didn't? We all ended up at a table in the far corner so we would not be noticed. I remember bringing it up at work once, and people would just look at me like 'what the fuck is wrong with you' and 'that's totally not normal'
    Do I believe in love? Maybe it happens for some people, but I'm certainly not seeing it on my end. I think some people are just destined to be forever alone and I think I'm one of those people if my social and non-existent love life is anything to go by. Is it depressing? It can be when you see people spending time with each other and you're just hanging out by yourself or when you go to a restaurant alone and everyone else around you has someone. Yeah. That burns. Or when there are those couple deals and you have to bring your parent along because you don't have anyone else to go with. That's like another slap in the face. 
    I think I'll just end up living in some rural remote area with me and a bunch of birds at this rate.
  5. AquilaTempestas
    Damn. It's certainly been a long time since I wrote anything in this, but I feel now is a great time to do so. I'm in creative writing mood so better ride the high while it lasts.
    Although it's not the end of the year yet, there's only four weeks left so I'm making one of those reflection posts.
    This year has been a mixed one. It started off poorly, improved a bit then dropped dramatically to an all new low before lifting to incredible heights.
    At the start of the year, I was still at my old workplace, slaving away for a shitty boss and a stuck up bitchy supervisor who liked picking on people much younger than her. I would get blamed for everything even if it wasn't my fault because I was such an easy target for them to harass. They got away with it because they knew I needed money. I hated being here. Mentally, I felt like crap every time I walked into that horrible place, but I got through it somehow. I was constantly threatened with being fired over little things like not being able to do a shift because of reasons and such. I was then terminated in March for being a deceitful liar and telling my boss that she was shit. Short story? Boss sends me a text message giving me a chance to explain about the keycard. I never had it. Another girl who left took it home with her and never returned it so of course it's my fault. I happily offered to pay for a new one (they're super cheap) and she accepted it.
    Something happens to change her mind. One hour later she decides to fire me. I send a text message back saying that's not fair and I should have the right to explain myself in person, and she agrees to meet on Friday. It's currently Tuesday. I said I couldn't do today because of uni stuff. She then threatens to fire me on the spot so I have to make plans and sacrifice uni work to see if I can fight to keep my job. It was supposed to be a meeting between me and her. I get there and she gangs up on me with her bitchy supervisor who is there just to taunt and mock me. Never had I felt so humiliated in a long time. These women are over 35 years of age and they're acting like bloody high schoolers.
    I told her what I thought. That this place is horrible anyway (we were terribly under performing financially) and I don't feel happy working here. I told her what I thought of her; shit boss who doesn't know a damn thing about running a business (she kept getting fined by the head company). They both decided to taunt me, call me a liar and trawled through my facebook profile to use things against me. I said I was entitled to worker rights. I had worked at this place for three years, and casual workers have bloody rights too. She said I didn't know a damn thing and if I tried anything, things were going to get really messy for me. 
    This is the woman who blamed me for shit coffees when she was the one who made them. This is the woman who threatened to fire me because I stayed back at work for an extra hour to help with a customer rush and we were struggling badly. This is the woman who told me she was working at another job that paid 150,000 dollars a year... Why the fuck are you working at a shop that can't even make 1000 dollars a day then if that was so true? You told me a bunch of shit. You constantly complained about customers being bitches when you have nothing yourself. I can see why you were divorced several times. You bitch about people constantly because you yourself are a piece of shit stuck in a crap job that's no better than working at a fast food store. This same woman (if you could even call her that) tried to persuade my friend who works there still to steal money and hide the tax receipts from the head company. We had such a high turnover rate because of her inability to do anything right, but can you really expect anything great from someone who has a porn shed in the backyard? (went to her place for a christmas party once in her first year... she wasn't so crazy then)
    Although I was happy to leave, getting fired (and she started spreading false rumours that I got fired from another workplace... Which was untrue, and she lied to my other friends there... Telling them I was the horrible lying person and they were glad to get rid of me. They don't believe her because she's a shit head to them too. What right do you have to call your workers idiots in front of customers? You work at a bloody cafe. This is your life and you are over thirty years old and you work at a crap cafe. Well done. That's not going to be my life because I won't become a tool like you. Anyways... This left me in a shit position though. I had no income, and every job I applied for, I got rejected. I must've applied for at least fifty jobs and got rejected for every single one. I called Fair Work Australia to ask them for advice - they said I was right - casual works have rights when my boss said I didn't have anything and didn't deserve to be treated like a human being.
    For four months I lived on my savings. I was depressed as hell and feeling like shit every single day. No job. No money. Nothing I can do. Then I started feeling a bit jealous of all the other people around me living perfect happy lives. Having good jobs. Having their own houses. Having their own cars. Enjoying life and travelling. Getting married etc. And here I am sitting at my parent's place wondering what sort of shitty things I had done in the past to make me end up in a position like this. There were times I thought that perhaps being dead would be better. At least I wouldn't have to worry about money. I had one last option - apply for full time study to get government financial help for the duration of your degree. I didn't have high hopes for this. I was getting rejected for everything else, so I'd probably get rejected for this as well - I did for my first degree.
    June arrives. I'm onto my last few dollars. I'm reaching the point where I feel like a complete utter failure in life. I failed in every aspect. I wasn't a great student at school and never specialized in anything (like social clubs, sports, music etc) because I was just average in all walks of life. I didn't have any friends either - highschool friends just moved on. They got married. Had kids. Moved countries. Got jobs. They had lives and no time for people who didn't have any like myself. I almost ran out of money to fund this forum as well, and it's become such an integral part of my life, that losing it would've probably driven me over the edge. There would be nothing worth living for. I'm sitting there contemplating what I had achieved in life and came up with nothing. I wondered if I was carrying the loser gene - maybe some people were just meant to be unlucky and never succeed. Maybe I deserved to get fired. Maybe I deserved to be treated like a moron. Maybe I deserved to not be happy. Maybe I was cursed to live like a loser.
    I apply for an Education degree at my former uni from which I graduated with a business degree from. I didn't think I'd get accepted. Didn't believe I had met the requirements since I applied at a time where recent graduating high school students get picked first. I certainly got a surprise in late June when I got accepted into my former university in the Education/Arts dual degree program to become a secondary teacher. A job not at all related to business and hospitality. A way out of that crap industry. An industry where the intake was quite high as we're in a desperate need of teachers (since Australia is basically a service based country anyway and machines are taking over many jobs). I thought about being a teacher when I was younger, but didn't think I had the confidence and maturity to do something like that. Now it's my only option.
    Being accepted into this degree allowed me to apply for government help. I got accepted. Things were finally starting to look up. I had money again. I could afford public transport (I don't have a car and no license because I never had anyone to teach me and never had the money to fork out for lessons which were over 50 dollars per lesson which of course only made me feel like more of a loser). I could purchase things like textbooks to keep up with classes. Money does bring happiness - without it, you can't do a damn thing. Anyways, my fortunes continued to rise. Having income again immediately made me feel much better. I could save up money again.
    I started writing in October after not having done anything since 2016. I was scoring reasonably well in my assignments (had a slow start, but improved dramatically as the semester went on). I could afford the forum again even though we're now on a cheaper plan that can't cater for a full day chat room. I can start saving money to purchase a car and with my age, I can just go for my provisionals (unsupervised driving) without having to complete 200 hours of practice driving time (which was going to be impossible). All I need to do now is take four lessons for exam information then go for it and done. 
    Anyways, come the end of November. I exceeded my own expectations on grade results and did great (didn't fail anything - that's all that matters to me). I've finally recovered my financial losses during that period of time I had no income. Relationship with parents improved dramatically. Heard back from a friend I hadn't seen since 2016. Romance life is still non-existent (will most likely remain that way until the day I die because all the guys I've met so far have been boring as hell and want things I don't and do things I don't feel comfortable with), but I'm more concerned about getting life back in working order than social interactions in that department. Mentally, I feel in a far more positive mindset than the first half of the year. I can't recall many days where I've been sad and depressed. Physically, I also feel good. Been doing a fair of bush walking with my cousin which is always nice. 
    I've almost completed my massive writing project which started in 2014. Another month and finally it will feel truly complete. The next step is then getting it self published just for my own personal glory and to remind myself I actually achieved something. Now I'm on summer holidays which lasts three months here in Australia so I'm just enjoying it and getting things done before university starts up again. The goal? Get some novels published. Get my driver's license sorted. Have a short vacation. Continue working on fitness levels and continue saving up money for a car and the adventure holiday I want to eventually do.
    I don't normally enjoy Christmas because it's the same old thing each year where people just try to brag about how much better they are than me and don't appreciate the presents you buy for them, but this year I actually want to enjoy it again and I'll be better prepared for it. So, here's to 2017, a year that started off poorly, got worse and got to a point I thought it would be a short 2017, but things improved and I'm still here (obviously) and aiming towards a far better future.
  6. AquilaTempestas
    Words simply can't describe how I feel today. 
    I woke up and immediately checked the forum and noticed @MasKaiHilFantic's status update about Chester Bennington found dead. I told myself that this had to be some hoax and it was just some lousy media outlet trying to hype themselves up a little. I checked Linkin Park reddit and noticed Mike Shinoda had confirmed it on his Twitter page.
    My heart broke. I don't normally get too upset over celebrity deaths, but Chester's death hits me so hard, it's actually a struggle to write this.
    I've been a fan since Hybrid Theory. Since 2000. That's 17 years of loyalty towards a band that helped so many people around the world find the will to cope and survive each day. Their blend of rap with rock and heavy vocals was reason I got into rock/metal and I loved their meaningful lyrics. What I loved best was how relatable they were. The songs that capture your feelings in your darkest moments but you're too afraid to admit them out aloud. I'm so glad I had the privilege to see them live in 2014 here in Australia. They were fantastic live - very energetic and got the crowd singing along to every song. Such great energy and looking at those photos now only makes this news so much worse. I watched the band evolve since their beginnings to their most recent effort. Every album brought something new to the table. Some changes I didn't like, but the core of the band never changed. They were always genuine about what they did. 
    Listening to their songs now just feels so different. I always knew their songs were about sad matters and such, but I can't help but think Chester was always thinking of committing suicide sometime in the future. Chris Cornell's death by suicide seemed to push him over the edge (to the point he chose to die on Chris's birthday). No matter what anyone says, I will never believe that suicide is a weakness and selfish. Yes, he left his wife and six kids behind, but he was consumed by his own inner pain, he probably thought they'd be better off without him. It's awful to think of how many people in this world are also in the same boat, that are suffering in silence because no one will listen to their desperate cries for help.
    God, what an awful day.
    Some LP lyrics:
    "Should've stayed, were there signs, I ignored? Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?"
    "Oh I'll be sorry for now That I couldn't be around There will be a day That you will understand You will understand"
    "I was not trying to tear you down The words that I could've used I was too scared to say out loud"
    "And you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair Just 'cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there"
    "I can't hold on/To what I want when I'm stretched so thin/It's all too much to take in/I can't hold on/To end things watching everything spin/With thoughts of failure sinking in"
    "When my time comes/Forget the wrong that I've done/Help me leave behind some/Reasons to be missed/And don't resent me/And when you're feeling empty/Keep me in your memory/Leave out all the rest/Leave out all the rest"
    "I don't know what's worth fighting for/Or why I have to scream/I don't know why I instigate/And say what I don't mean/I don't know how I got this way/I'll never be alright/I'm breaking the habit tonight"
    It is almost as if he already knew he was going to die soon. This happened after Chris's death.
     
    And there's so much more. It's like reliving the time when Paul Grey of Slipknot and the Rev of Avenged Sevenfold died.
     
     
  7. AquilaTempestas
    Well yesterday I started my first day as a pre-service teacher! *someone who is studying to be a teacher*
    Lots of fun things planned over the next couple of years which I hope will be a rewarding career.
    Lots of placement stuff and I also applied for my first ever Blue Card (which basically proves I'm not a child molester). I'm choosing English/History as my core areas since I love history and english (since I suck at maths and science).
    New job hasn't started it, but I went past yesterday and they have store signage up now so must be getting closer. Uniforms are getting organized as well, yay.
  8. AquilaTempestas
    God, it's been awhile since I've done one of these!
    Not much to say here. I'm enjoying my last two weeks of freedom before university starts up again.
    That's right. I'm going back to university because finding a full time job in Australia is pretty damn hard for university graduates and non graduates.
    What am I studying? I'm gonna do an Arts/Education degree since that's one of the rare fields you can actually get a job.
    Aside from that, I'm also due to start my new job in about the same amount of time so yay, at least I'll have my money again to spend on shit and save (to make up for the lost savings I've had to survive on since April).
    So... hopefully the second half is better! Things always seem to be better in the second half of the year.
  9. AquilaTempestas
    Today I'd like to write about how much music means to me. I do believe that without music, it would be a lot harder to make it through the day, especially when you're facing tough times.
    There's a song for every mood - there's a genre for everyone. It's so diverse and it brings people of different backgrounds together.
    The thrill of listening to a new CD after waiting months. The joy of going to a live show and watching your favourite band perform on stage. Music connects people in the same way writing and art does.
    I've been to a lot of shows over the years and I never get tired of attending gigs at intimate venues and festivals. I do prefer festivals because of the outdoor environment, but small gigs are fun too. You make friends with people who like the same stuff you do - that's always cool.
    That being said, my favourite albums of the year are (in no order):
    Ghostlights by Avantasia Life Screams by Lacey Sturm Delirium by Lacuna Coil Exhale by Thousand Foot Krutch The Shadow Self by Tarja The Holographic Principle by Epica Dim Days of Dolor by Sirenia Dirge for the Archons by Diabulus in Musica Brace by Birds of Tokyo Hour of the Nightingale by Trees of Eternity There were also some solid releases by Epic Score and Two Steps From Hell.
  10. AquilaTempestas
    The year is almost over. Time certainly flies by, and I for one, can't wait for 2017. Hopefully, it's a less shitty version than 2016.
    I'd consider 2016 to be an epic fail of a year for my own life. I'm still stuck in a shit dead end job that I can't get out of because no one is interested in giving me a chance.
    I spend four years of my life getting a degree that I can't do shit with. I keep applying for jobs and continue to get turned down. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just meant to be one of those people that just isn't allowed to succeed. You know those people - people that always seem to be lucky and good things always seem to happen to them whilst you're just struggling to make ends meet.
    I turn 25 next year, and I find it hard to see what I've achieved over the course of my life. Got a degree, but can't do shit with it. Got a job, but it's only a casual shit dead end one with a boss that steals money. I can't leave because I don't have the necessary skills to get something else so I'm stuck in this vicious circle. I start all these projects, and only manage to finish one, but it's plagued with errors I have no motivation to fix.
    I just can't tell if it's just me. Maybe there is a god out there and he's taking the piss out of me for being such a horrible person. Sometimes I think some people are just born to plod along and not succeed no matter how hard you try. I feel like I'm one of those sort of people. I feel like I'm a person who deserves bad things to happen because I'm such a miserable cynical bastard. Maybe I give this aura that tells people to stay far away. 
    I'm hoping 2017 brings some sort of joy. I'm sick of being stuck in this brain dead job that I can't seem to get out of. I'd take it to Fair Work Australia and file a complaint, but it's my workplace management vs me, and I know I have no chance against that. Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I just hope that something good will happen. Maybe if I believe it enough something positive will. So far, it hasn't happened, but I'll cling onto that small line of rope. Maybe, just maybe, something good will finally happen.
    Every Christmas is the same. For a lot of people, Christmas brings them joy and brings families together. In mine, it only makes me realize just how disconnected I am from both sides of my family. They're all living life - full time jobs, travelling, new homes - then there's just me. I guess I'm just envious that I don't have the money to do all that. I can't afford to move out of home, and I don't have any friends I could flat with. All this only just reinforces the fact that maybe... just maybe, some people are born to succeed, and others doomed to fall.
    Every Christmas I'm reminded of how much of a failure at life I am. Rather than joy and happiness, it's misery and envy. 24 years of age, and I'm walking along a path that leads to no destination. Trying for jobs, and constantly getting rejected. I feel like I wasted the past four years of my life on using a degree I can't do anything with. Four years down the drain when I could've been using that time to do something else, but of course, no education in one side of my family means you're a worthless piece of shit.
    Yay for Christmas. I love being reminded that my life is going nowhere. This Christmas I awoke to an argument with a long time friend, the news my aunt has a form of cancer in her throat, and that I'm still the same pathetic idiotic loser from last year. Huzzah.
  11. AquilaTempestas
    "I could totally add this scene to the story even though it's not necessary, but I think it would be cool!"
    Does that sound like you? Because that's exactly what I'm thinking about right now. I'm sitting here looking at my story and thinking, 'Damn, I could do so much more with this! The possibilities are endless!' But then you have to ask yourself, 'Does this scene actually add anything to the story or am I just putting it there for the hell of it?'
    Ah, that evil inner critic that never seems satisfied no matter how hard you try to appease it. It's that whole notion of 'does bigger actually mean better?' So for those of you who are waiting on Spirit of Champions, try not to be too disappointed if certain things didn't happen. The trilogy has the potential to be double the length it is, but I have to remind myself constantly, 'is this necessary and if so, why?'
    I think as writers we're always trying to outdo ourselves and make our next projects better and bigger than the previous. I know for sure in my case I'm always critiquing my own material and trying to find ways to make it better. Which raises the question - how do you shut that voice up? How do you just be happy with what you've got? It's like I sit there for hours staring at the words and thinking to myself, 'What could I do to make this better?' Sometimes, you try so hard it ends up being worse off and that inner critic voice gets louder still.
  12. AquilaTempestas
    Well, it's December, and usually this month is better than November. I still haven't decided what I want for Christmas - every year, my cousin and I tell each other in advance what we want (give three choices and choose one) so everyone is happy. However, I already have what I want. I'm considering just saying 'don't get me anything'. But this blog entry isn't about Christmas. It's about writing. Recently, I was feeling pretty depressed over my own writing ability, and I don't know if it's because I'm feeling a little burned out or if it's because my sleeping patterns have taken a terrible dive again and I'm left drained. 
    Anyways, I found this in my folders, and I thought I'd share it with you all. Maybe you might feel inspired. I'm sure I've posted it somewhere here before, but I'll share it again anyway.
    .
    If you had told me during pre-teen years that I was going to be a fanfiction writer one day, I probably would’ve just laughed. It’s often said that anyone can pick up a pen and write, but not everyone can tell a good story. When I was a kid, we had to do creative writing exercises in class and the teachers often told my parents that my writing was boring and lacked style. I also recall my teachers stating that I had difficulty in understanding texts and interpretations of characters and such – I remember scoring pretty low in comprehension back in primary school.

    I started taking a serious interest in writing when I was in my pre-teen years. I’d come up with my own characters that were based on my fellow classmates and insert them into fictional worlds of my own creation. Fantasy was my first genre – my first story was called ‘Dragonsville’ as sad as that is. In my eleven year old mind though, it was the greatest title ever. I didn’t manage to write much since most of my ‘writing’ was brainstorming [mostly writing out character templates which were never used].

    My writing was kept in the dark– I never told anyone about it because I was so worried what they would think. Would they laugh at it? Would they tell me it was awful? I’ve never been that great when it comes to taking criticism [yay for growing up being told you're useless huzzah] so that’s why I kept it a secret. Even my friends didn’t know. When my parents asked if I was doing my homework, I’d lie and tell them that I was, even though I was working on plots.

    Creating character templates was an addiction. I could spend hours and fill pages about my characters. I’d plan out how they would look, what their main personality traits were like, what their purpose was in the story… I look back now on it and realize how ridiculous it was since they didn’t leave any room for the character to grow and develop. It was also time-consuming and contributed nothing to the actual plot.

    glitteredvixen06

    My original works came to an end when I reached the age of thirteen. This is when my fanfiction writing career began and I haven’t looked back since. I became interested in fanfiction when I fell in love with the anime ‘Beyblade’. It was the first anime show I truly became addicted to and I spent hours browsing the internet searching for stories that I loved. It was ‘Eyeliner and Mascara’ written by BOE-4eva that inspired me to pick up the pen and write in the first place.

    I was new to the world of fanfiction writing and I didn’t have a clue where to start. I didn’t know what type of a writer I wanted to be or what stories I wanted to do, so I just copied other authors and wrote what they did. I researched the trends, wrote for the trends and capitalized on that. I signed up in 2006 with the penname ‘glitteredvixen06’ and so my journey began.

    At the time of my joining, slash was pretty popular and all the big name authors in the Beyblade fandom were writing it. I figured I ought to do the same as well, but I didn’t feel quite ready to write stuff like that. My first official Beyblade story was called ‘Cyborg vs Human’ (Yes, it was actually called that.). It was a Beyblade adventure type story in which Boris was training an army of cyborg bladers (inspired by season one). I put my favourite characters on one side and they fought against the characters I disliked the most. This story also had an OC who was in a romance with Kai.

    Here’s a little excerpt of the story, exactly as it was written [I was thirteen at the time of this writing]:

    Prologue

    Not too long ago, a wealthy man named Boris, created a company. This company was to help Beybladers practice there skills and become better bladers. However, the company was a phony. The bladers were made into machines with only one purpose; to destroy. Innocent bladers were made into ruthless killers. Soon, an army of a hundred cyborg bladers were released into action. A war began. Many lives were taken. The war continued until ten bladers came along and destroyed Boris’s company. The bladers became normal once again.

    And another just because it’s funny.

    Boris laughed evilly. He had built a brand new building. He looked around the newly built building. There was at least ten stadium dishes where bladers could practice their skills. Yes, Boris still had not changed. He still used innocent human beings to do his dirty work. However, this time he planned on capturing the ten sacred bitbeasts. It was going to be a difficult task. It was that difficult that Boris hired ten of the strongest bladers in the building. Each had their own computer generated bitbeast. Boris’s task was to rule the world. But to do this he needed the following bitbeasts sealed in a rock.

    And another one just for your amusement.

    Boris awaited Bryan’s arrival. Bryan wasn’t part of the army yet, however Boris liked to think he was. A door opened. Bryan and his friends entered into the building.

    “What are we here for?” asked Queen

    “Boris requested we do so” answered Bryan

    “Whose Boris?”

    “I’m Boris”

    A tall man with purple hair appeared before them.

    “What do you want Boris?” asked Bryan nastily. He had a bad experience working for Boris.

    “Ah Bryan. I’m glad you remember me”

    “How could anyone forget you?”

    And:

    “Ssshhh. I want to ask you a favour”

    “What favour”

    “I want you to capture the bitbeast’s of Tala’s friends”

    “Why?”

    “If you do this for me, you and your friends will be invincible!”

    “You still haven’t changed have you?”

    “Oh, but I have. You see, I’m creating an army of cyborgs to help me dominate the world”

    “How’s this different from your old self?”

    “I have decided that I will share the captured bitbeast’s power with all my army.”

    “So, let me get this straight. You called us here, to get us to do your dirty work, so you could rule the world?”

    “Hmmm, yes, pretty much.”

    Bryan sighed. The temptation of eternal power was too good to pass. He’d have to tell his teammates. Bryan turned around to face his friends.

    That was my very first piece of public writing and looking back on it now it’s quite amusing how writing can change overtime. The chapters were usually around a thousand words long and back then, that was a lot of words for me. I remember one of my chapters hit three thousand words – it was amazing! It was truly a grand achievement. The story was short-lived though – I ended up taking it down after a few months because I was so disappointed with the reviews. I was getting one a chapter and that was a blow to my self-esteem.

    So I started jumping on the slash bandwagon and basically did what everyone else wrote to capitalize on their fame. I wanted reviews, that was pretty much all I cared about at the time. Quality didn’t matter – as long as I had more reviews than chapters I was happy. Of course, writing slash wasn’t something I felt comfortable with but I did it anyway. I’m ashamed to say it, but I was quite the review whore back in my early days. I actually recall holding stories ransom until I got a certain number of reviews. Nowadays, I hate it when people do that because it's what I did.

    Because I was never truly interested in it, I found it difficult to keep up with requests that kept coming through. I eventually stopped and figured I needed to work out what sort of a writer I wanted to be. It was around this time I started writing parody stories. This is when I experienced my first real taste of genuine success. I was writing a genre I felt comfortable with and enjoyed.

    All was good for awhile until mid 2007 when I basically destroyed my career under the penname of glitteredvixen06. I decided it would be a good idea to write a story about how Kai wasn’t the greatest character in Beyblade and it destroyed my reputation. People who were following my works wanted nothing to do with me – people who were following me removed me immediately. Those who loved Kai sent me thousand word essays going on about how stupid I was and how I should commit suicide because I’m such a loser for writing something so anti-Kai. I even had people spreading the word around the net on beyblade fansites to get me kicked off fanfiction.net. Other authors who followed me, started telling their friends to avoid my profile page because 'she's such a bitch and a horrible human being'. Random people would PM me going through my stories and listing things that were awful. Fun times.

    I tried reviving my career, but my penname at that point was beyond redemption. So I figured it was time to start a fresh start and determine the type of writer I wanted to be recognized as. What kind of stories did I want to write? Who did I want to write about?  I took a few months off, chatted to the friends who I made (whom I still talk with today), and decided I was going to call myself AquilaTempestas.

    AquilaTempestas

    When I set up my new account in late 2009 (October 31 to be precise – I was 17 by this point), I decided I wanted to be seen one of the big names of the humour/parody section of the Beyblade fandom. My mission was to make one shots about various Beyblade characters and place them in amusing yet somewhat realistic situations. My experiences with my glitteredvixen06 account taught me reviews weren’t the most important thing in the world – it was how you wrote that truly mattered.

    I rebuilt my fanbase, made new friends (whom I’m still in contact with), but I still had my fair share of battles. Nothing was quite as bad as what I experienced as glitteredvixen06, but there were many times I honestly felt like quitting fanfiction for good. I received quite a few comments regarding how desperately I needed a beta because my writing was so bad and made no sense, I had people tell me that my plots were stupid and needed serious work because they weren’t realistic and that my characterizations were completely off-centre. I’ve received comments where authors have told me that my writing is simplistic and lacking any form of feeling. For someone who was trying to rebuild themselves disaster, it didn’t exactly do me any wonders.

    It wasn’t just on the writing end I had trouble with – even with reviews I copped some trouble from them. There was another who was blackmailing readers for reviews and I remember telling the author not to do that because no one appreciates a story being held hostage. That backfired on me, and all of a sudden I found my penname being posted on quite a few profiles, telling other authors to ‘stay away because this author is a real jerk’ (deja vu?). I received PM’s telling me how much my stories sucked and how ridiculous my summaries were, and that I was just some jealous author because my stories weren’t doing as well. I had flashbacks of my time with glitteredvixen06 and feared it was going to happen all over again. Thankfully, the problem was resolved, but it took some real effort.

    Of course, there were other criticisms along the way. I remember having a pretty heated debate with someone who couldn't accept a Beyblade story being set in a fantasy world (you can't write that - that's not canon, and the characters would not speak like that at all). It was a huge insult to this person and they blocked me. It was a bit disheartening to be honest. I wanted to write a middle age fantasy story using Beyblade characters, and it came a time when I was trying to do something different. Other comments were the usual 'you suck' 'go die already' 'wow you can't write at all' and 'do you even know anything about the fandom you are writing for? You call yourself a fan?'
    After a couple years of writing Beyblade humour/parody stories, I decided it was time to write something new. I’ve always been a fantasy addict and attracted to darker themes, but I never felt confident enough in my writing to actually attempt it. In 2012 I finally started exploring the themes I’ve always wanted to do. I started working with death, murder, suicide, torture and other similar themes. I started writing about pairings that I loved that not many people appreciated. I made a vow to myself that I would not write what other people wanted, but write what I wanted to read instead, no matter what everyone else thought.

    It irks me when I see comments such as: ‘a good story must be over three thousand words’ or ‘humour parody stories are written by retarded people who think they can write’ and ‘those who write AU choose to because they don’t have the skill to stick with the canon’ – every author has their own writing style and no one can take that away from you. You should write what you want to write; not write what someone tells you to.

    Nowadays, it feels like fanfiction writing is like an Olympic sport – it doesn’t help that people can now see how many favourites and alerts you have for a story. That wasn't available when I started. It kinda just adds to that whole competitive feel. Hey, stories with low numbers are clearly bad and must be avoided like the plague. How often do we as people compare numbers and think 'the better one is clearly the one that is rated higher?'

    In short, my advice to other writers is simply… Be the writer you want to be, not what others want you to be.

  13. AquilaTempestas
    This week has been a pretty shitty month. Actually, as per yearly tradition, November has been a shitty month. Usually in November I get sick and come down with a horrible cold that lasts for several weeks.
    In the first week of November, I was feeling pretty sick. Terrible stomach pains, killer headache so bad I could barely stand without wanting to drop dead, and lots of vomiting. Hurrah for me.
    The week after that was kinda boring, but I finished studies that week so no excuses not to do some writing.
    Third week of November was somewhat eventful. Pokemon was released but I found it disappointing. It was a pretty good week for writing though.
    Fourth week of November was just lots of writing. 
    The final week of November had been pretty crappy. Telstra screwing our internet over, shitty customers and a trip to the doctor to find I have something wrong with my left Eustachian tube. Don't you love it when your body decides it doesn't feel like working properly and wants to take a short vacation? Anyway, I am still writing - and so far I've done just over 40,000 words in under three weeks. I'm pretty proud of myself after having not written anything major since the completion of A Hero's Last Cry which was quite sometime ago. Also, this week I found myself wishing I could just argue back with annoying asshole customers (No, we can't change the prices to suit your wallet, Sorry lady, but I can't serve you whilst you are on your bloody phone, No, we do not sell doughnuts or bagels, No, you can't get a refund on something you've eaten fully...), but sadly, I can't do that whilst I'm behind the counter.
    Hopefully, December is a better month. Christmas doesn't usually bring me joy because it's full of relatives bragging about how much money they have and pointing out how much of a loser you are in comparison in front of everyone else. Yay for relatives and being told that you are a complete utter failure at life. Hurray for the Christmas spirit. Personally, if I had the choice, I'd stay in my room all day long and contemplate the meaning of life, but you don't always get what you want. 
    In other somewhat positive news, I am hoping to get all my fanfictions edited by the end of the month, but I can't make any promises. It might be a bit late. 
     
  14. AquilaTempestas
    My life is kinda boring so I haven't been doing many blog posts relating to life.
    However... this week is a noteworthy one. Why? It's the end of studies woo hoo. I'm not going to to the graduation services because I can't be bothered.
    In other news I've discovered how important tweezers are to daily lives. The other day my SD card got stuck in the 3ds  But never fear, the tweezers saved the day! The 3ds and SD card were unharmed.
    Speaking of 3ds, I've been playing Moon and I'm 3/4 through. The game is a definite step up from the disappointment of X and Y, but I kinda feel... it could've been so much more. I'm not a big fan of the trials. I think the traditional eight gyms is better because they provide a greater challenge while the trials are too easy. The world itself is fun to explore, and I'm glad we have no need for HM slaves, but I feel a little... disappointed. Team Skull are hilarious, but they don't really have a purpose. Their boss isn't intimidating either. He's no Cyrus or Ghetsis on the crazy scale. The game feels really easy too. The rival is weak, the totem Pokemon are easy... Ugh.
    In summary:
    The Good
    No HM slaves needed The new professor Some nice hairstyles for females Nice graphics, but world is still a little... bland. A Sinnoh remake, which I feel is the best landscape, would be fantastic. Team Skull grunts are like a walking parody of modern day rappers Much better than X/Y in every way possible Nice OST The Bad
    Trials are too easy Battles in general are too easy Cardboard NPCs. None of the NPCs really stand out. Lillie is frustrating. Skull boss is bland. Player's friend/rival is just like a cheap knock off Barry, but not as cool.  New Pokemon aren't really all that interesting Still don't have a father Totem Pokemon are too easy Some lag during double battles (I have the 3DS XL that came with X/Y) Not enough variety in Pokemon. X/Y had more I believe. Alola Persian... is hideous I really miss the gyms of the previous games. I think they still could've used gyms and somehow incorporated the elements of the trials into the gyms.
  15. AquilaTempestas
    Today got me thinking - why are some people just jerks?
    So for those of you who don't know, I currently work in a crappy casual job at a cafe. If you've never worked in hospitality before let me share a secret with you - you learn to really hate people. Sure, sometimes you'll meet the nicest people in the world,  but most of the time, you cross paths with self-entitled fucks who think they can walk all over you because you're just a piece of shit.
    I had this lady complaining about her coffee. She's like 'oh, I ordered a large' and I said 'According to the receipt, you did not'. She then complains, 'This isn't a flat white! A flat white has no froth!' and I'm thinking, 'you fucking idiot. Flat whites do have froth - it's just a lot smaller than the other types of coffees. Shall I show you the coffee chart?' I didn't say that aloud of course, but man, it's tempting. It's like people no longer have a sense of respect for one another. Would it hurt to actually say please and thank you? Would it kill you to actually include people in a conversation and not make it bloody obvious that you don't want them around because they're inferior to you and your circle of friends?
    I can't think of anything worse than being ignored on purpose. It's like being invited to a party by the host and then getting ignored. It's like being the third wheeler on the date. Everyone else knows what's going on but you. It's almost as if you are the joke and when you're not around, they're laughing at you. I don't get it. At least fake kindness like good old Margaret does. Margaret is this old lady who visits our shop from time to time. She's very nice to your face - but she actually thinks we're all retarded except for our supervisor. Be like Margaret (don't be like Bill). Be nice to people face-to-face. Bitch about people you don't like at home. Don't make it so bleeding obvious you don't like that person or think less of them. This also applies to online stuff. It's still communication.
    So I had this friend once who made it pretty obvious she didn't think too highly of me, but I was only there when her other plans failed. Gee, thanks. I like being the back-up friend because your first choice people backed out. I get that you can't get along with everyone, but that's no real excuse to be a prick. It's like you're favoring your other pals because they're special to you and you're just... there to talk to when all else fails. I love that feeling. It really makes me feel very happy. I love being the third wheeler. I love being ignored. It brings me warm and fuzzy feelings.
    Fuck that. I can see why society is becoming more self-absorbed. People don't have respect for each other anymore. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but I do try to include people in everything even if I'm busy because I don't like being ignored, and I'm sure you don't either. Treat others like how you'd wanna be treated to. Am I narcissistic? I don't believe so. I just hate exclusion, and people who don't have manners. It's like sticking your hand up in class and the teacher ignores you but answers the other people. That really sucks. So I don't even know what friendship is anymore. Seems like most people are just looking out for their own needs and using you to make them feel better until they don't need you anymore. Or you are just there to soften the fall.
    *sigh*
  16. AquilaTempestas
    I've always had a terrible habit of starting things and never finishing them. Fanfictions, projects, games... and blogs are no different. I do hope to try and keep this one up and running, and if it survives for more than a week, consider that a real life achievement. Anyways, not much happened today. In fact, today was a pretty average day like most other days of my not-so-fascinating life. What did I do today? I stayed at home and looked at a computer screen for the majority of the daylight hours. Currently, I feel like I should be writing, but instead decided to spend my entire day making Itunes playlists because I accidentally deleted them all.
    So, day by day, I'm going to go through all the songs I currently have and decide whether or not they make the final cut. It's actually pretty interesting to re-listen to songs I've got on my computer that I haven't listened to since the late 90's. It's also interesting to see how my musical tastes have changed over the past decade (thankfully to stuff much better). Music stuff aside, I'm looking forward to getting back into some full-time writing after October. Currently, I have a lot of assignments that need to be done by mid November, and I am yet to make a start on any of them (go me). Fortunately, the majority of them are pretty short and will only take a few hours to complete.
    But yeah, that's the highlights of today. My next blog entry should be a little more interesting!
     
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