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onewiththewheels last won the day on November 12

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About onewiththewheels

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  1. Writing Log

    December 13, 2017 Another update for Holly’s RP page, with the document now at 14,305 words.
  2. How to write a review

    I would say as a writing the review, think of the time and effort it took for someone to write that story, and respond with it. If it's not something you would like someone to leave on your story, leave it out. Also, for both reviewers and those being reviewed, don't get offended by criticism (even if it's worded badly). Again, someone is taking the time and effort to review your story. If there's something that seems nasty, just ignore it. But don't get offended by those who have legitimate criticism. Bonus points if the criticism is about an OC. I know it's hard not to treat characters like they're your own children (or whatever the equivalent is for you), but you have to realize that in the end, they're going to be looked at and critiqued like every other character. Also, if you get criticism on something more than once, try looking into it. It might actually be legitimate problem that you might never have thought of. Not addressing those problems early can seriously hold a story up… Also, if you are responding to a review, be polite as well. I know some reviews may seem stupid, but don't address them with a long rant. Instead, something simple or ignoring it will suffice. Not to mention readers may actually read your response, and understand what it is that you want for your reviews. And then you'll get better feedback in the future.
  3. The weather thread

    Snow and humidity... Annoying combo…
  4. What do you like to write and why?

    I like writing battles, but not with too much blood and gore. I also like writing some dialogue scenes in between said battles, showing how the characters interact with each other. Supernatural things are also enjoyable, especially if this is fan fiction and the original world doesn't have any (e.g. the idea of experimenting with supernatural powers if they did exist).
  5. Myers Briggs Personality Type Theory and Character Writing

    My personal method to character creation? I just write whatever comes to my head and form a story around it. I also tend to change things. A lot. My problem with personality tests is that they're meant to help people with writing, but in order to completely understand them, one already has to have a deeper knowledge of writing and characters. This problem also extends to other types of tests meant to help with writing, such as a Mary Sue test. All in all, I think something that teaches someone how to write rather than a basic test that throws information with almost no explanation is much more helpful. Once someone knows how to write in general, things like personality come much easier, and often without the aid of a test.
  6. Writing Log

    December 12, 2017 Holy Rising’s RP page got an update, at 13,441 words.
  7. The 'share a snippet' of your story thread

    Start of a post from an RP I'm doing and porting: Holly thought she would scream until her voice went hoarse. Surprisingly, no one stopped her. She ignored the pain of her own injuries as she raced over to Kris. What she saw almost made her vomit. The disabled trainer's eyes were closed, her face fixed in an expression of pain. Holly wondered if she was dead, but noticed no one was crying. Holly noticed she had been placed on a white blanket or some sort, but it seemed to bring her little comfort. Holly wondered if the other woman or Kahili had done that, or even why. After all, Kris couldn't feel what was happening. Holly spun around, looking for Kris's Pokémon. However, not a one was in sight. Even Tulip was eerily silent. Perhaps she had recalled them all before her injury. Or perhaps they had been injured too. Maybe they were even dead. Holly shuddered. If Kris died here, would Tulip die too? She shook her head. She couldn't think those morbid thoughts. Yet now it was difficult not to. Holly noticed that the disabled trainer had bruises and scrapes almost everywhere. One particularly nasty wound oozed blood from her right leg. Her hands lay limply out to the side, and Holly could see more of those horrible wounds on her arms. Holly could see more scrapes on her fingers and palms of her hands, and wondered if she had tried to grab something. But nothing was more gruesome than her left leg. Her left leg was twisted at a horrific angle, and Holly could see something jutting out. She shuddered as she wondered if it was bone. Holly didn't know what broken ones looked like, but she figured this was it. Holly could see huge bruises that dwarfed the other ones Kris had. But by far the most disturbing things the blood that pooled the lower leg. They quickly stained blanket red and flowed like a crimson river. Whether that was because of Kris's left leg or some other injury, Holly didn't know. But she didn't know a question she wanted to ask. She clenched her fist and held back tears as she looked at the other woman. “What did you do to her?” Before the other woman could answer, Kahili responded. “You should be thanking this woman. She rescued your friend.” Holly's eyes widened in shock as the woman introduced herself. “My name is Molly. Molly Hale.” Holly’s eyes widened further. She knew a Molly, and it wasn't just because they had similar names! Almost every Pokémon trainer knew Molly Hale, because she was one of the strongest psychics ever! She was said to have trained under Sabrina, but eventually surpassed her teacher. Some people said Molly Hale could also do magic, but considering how few people actually knew magic, Holly wondered if it was true. Holly couldn't focus on Molly Hale now, though. Instead, she let the tears flow as she skidded into a kneeling position. Her injuries throbbed, but she imagined they couldn't be as bad as what Kris must have felt. Holly yelled at the top of her lungs. “Kris, Kris wake up! You can’t be dead! You just can't be!” Yet Kris didn't stir, not even at the mention of her name. The tears continued to fall. This couldn't be happening! Holly was suddenly aware of a hand on her shoulders. Rapidly, she dried her tears to face the other person. Molly Hale was now looking at Holly with sympathy in her eyes. “She's still alive, but she has lost consciousness.” Holly managed to choke out. “If you didn't do this, then…” Holly was aware of the sharp voice of Kahili. “That idiot ran around in the dark like a headless chicken! She wasn't careful, didn't look where she was going and smashed straight into a rock wall. The impact caused the rocks to fall. Her psychic fox tried to save her, and managed to get her further away. Thanks to that, she wasn't killed. The Pokémon wasn't quite fast enough though, and one of the rocks crushed her left leg.” Kahili gestured to a boulder beside Molly's Entei. Holly felt nausea and bile rising in her body as she could make out blood stains on the rock. Kahili shook her head. “Your friend’s unconscious from pain and shock. Who knows when she'll wake up.”
  8. Show you last watched

    Going on a Monsters inside Me binge
  9. Your favourite shows?

    Monsters inside Me- it's a nonfiction show about parasites and the people who catch them, as well as how to avoid them. It's very interesting, if a little creepy... Turned it on randomly one day several years ago, and then I was hooked...
  10. Book recommendations

    The Fire Line. It's a nonfiction book that's very intense and very good. It's also got a movie adaptation, Only the Brave. Said movie is also very good, although it takes a few creative liberties. It is a tragedy, though... If anything, the book gives a lot of information about firefighting, and I've walked away with a new respect for firefighters... There's also the Shannara series. One of the few fantasy areas available for adults, but doesn't have a lot of overly mature content. Also has the honor of being the first Thai fantasy series ever made, and has recently completed after around 25 books. Dark Eden- it's written by the same author that did some entries in 39 clues, and it is written fairly well. The premise is also pretty believable, especially considering it's a psychological horror (although the horror is not that intense and it focuses more on the psychological aspect). It also has a sequel, but unfortunately most people prefer to forget it exists...
  11. What are you reading now?

    Trudging through The Fire Line… Strange, because the way that set up the book, I already know what happens in the end… Thinking of jumping to the Sword of Shannara or the Da Vinci code after that.
  12. A Kanto Adventure

    The group was about to head into the cave, but Kris stopped dead. Concern filled Anabel's eyes as she stated. “Kris, are you all right?” The disabled trainer shook her head. “I don't want to go into the Rock Tunnel. Can we just fly around?” There was no mistaking the surprise in Anabel’s voice. “Kris, Azure did mention Rock Tunnel was good for training. You do want Holly to get stronger, don't you?” Holly couldn't resist shouting. “What? Are you afraid of the dark?” Kris shook her head. “I'm not. I'm afraid of falling rocks.” Holly responds. “Falling rocks? There won't be any falling rocks here! You will be fine!” Annabel replied. “I understand your concern, Kris, but Trainers traverse this cave all the time. We should be safe.” Kris did not seem convinced, but the disabled Trainer clearly knew there was almost no other option. Holly caught her muttering a name. “Velvet…” Holly didn't have time to ask what it was as the disabled Trainer trudged into the cave. Holly and Anabel quickly followed. As soon as Holly got into the cave, she couldn't help gasping. But it wasn't like anyone would take notice. For the entire cave was pitch black. Holly constantly strained to see anything, but no matter how far she looked, there was nothing but inky darkness. For once, she was glad that Annabel had her tethered, as the woman guided her. She couldn't see Kris, but she assumed from the close footsteps that the disabled trainer wasn’t far behind. Holly shuddered. What if something horrible took place in this cave? She was beginning to regret going… With all this darkness, there'd be no way to guard against attacks, and something that just jump out at them… Holly wondered how this was training, unless one wanted to see in the darkness. She was so lost in her fearful thoughts that she wasn't watching where she was going. Holly let out a yelp that she tripped. The ground hurtled towards her, and Holly could hear Anabel yelling. The woman tugged on the tether to try and keep Holly standing, but it was no use. Holly continued lurching forward, and she thrust out her hand. She felt it slam against rock and tried to regain her balance. Though she was able to stand up she scrambled, gripping the nearest one she could find. However, Holly let out a gasp as the rock wobbled loose. Dust and other small pebbles emptied into her hands. She staggered backward, the tether finally allowing her some balance. For a few moments, there was an eerie silence. And then, it was all broken. Holly still couldn't see anything, but she heard the sound of something crumbling. However, it was much louder than anything she'd ever heard, and it seemed to be right near them. Holly Hunter do anything like this, but she heard Kris screaming and running away. And that's when Holly finally registered how this was. The very thing Kris was afraid of. And it was coming for her too. Holly heard the sound of her own screams as the crumbling only grew louder. She was vaguely aware of something above her as she fought to stay out of the way. Holly coughed as dust threatened to enter her mouth, and pebbles slammed into her body. Was she going to die here? Would her journey come to an abrupt end? And what of her mother? What would she do when she found out she was dead? All of a sudden, Anabel's voice pierced through the chaos. Holly felt a sharp tug on the tether. “Holly, step back!” Holly felt frozen to the spot, and she could only manage another scream. The jerk on the tether grew stronger, and Holly tumbled backward. She slammed onto the ground, but didn't register the pain. Instead, she felt herself being dragged across the ground. Holly could hear the sound of the rocks getting quieter and quieter, before it subsided completely. And then it hit her. The pain. It washed over her like a wave, flooding her everywhere. Holly wanted desperately to stand and make the pain go away, but she found out she couldn't. And then she saw a flash of red. And it was oozing. The blood… And the pain… It was all too much… Holly felt her vison swimming, and she couldn't stop the hot tears pouring down her face. Her sobs filled the area, and she wondered if they would cause more rocks to fall. Holly couldn't stop her nose from running, and as her sinuses burned, Holly felt as though her injuries throbbed even more. Yet movement beside her alerted Holly that she was not alone. Someone gently placed a handkerchief into her hands and Holly wiped her eyes. She still couldn't see anything, but found herself choked up to speak. The other person seemed to understand, though and Holly heard the sound of a Poké Ball being thrown into the air. Holly was alerted to the sound of Annabel's voice as the woman issued a command. “Alakazam, Flash!” Holly shielded her eyes as a blinding white light filled the area. When she finally allowed herself to look, she realized she could see all of the cave. It looked similar to Mt. Moon, with its brown and large rocks everywhere. Yet Holly knew this wasn't Mt. Moon, instead feeling dwarfed by this place’s rock walls and high ceilings. Holly couldn't see Zubat on the ceilings, but she knew they probably were somewhere else. Yet, what she could see was another light. Holly glanced around, noticing Anabel’s Alakazam. It held its spoons tightly, and they radiated with the psychic power that lit up the cave. Holly blinked. She had forgotten Annabel had had that Pokémon. Perhaps the woman picked it up at the Center, after it was done doing work in Vermillion. Holly then noticed Anabel looking straight at her, concern written on her face. She tried to speak, but found that she couldn't. Instead, more tears threatened to spill over, and the pain throbbed worse than ever. Anabel put a hand to her lips, quieting her. “It's okay, Holly. You're safe now.” Holly shook her head. How could she be okay after everything that happened? And she wasn't safe! She was hurting! But Anabel simply stated. “Look in front of you.” Holly did as she was told, and her eyes widened in shock. In front of her where the deadly stones from before, but none of them even threatened to fall. Instead, they lay on the ground in a heap, dust and pebbles alongside them. Holly could've just picked one up off the ground, but didn't dare. Instead, Holly blinked. She was here, alive… And she could see the rockfall from before. It was beside her, and so was Anabel. So that would mean… Holly was aware of her voice shaking as she pieced together what happened. “Anabel, you saved me…” The woman only nodded gravely, but Holly could still see that her face betrayed concern. Holly wanted to speak more, but she let out a gasp. Pain shot through her entire body, reminding her that she had not walked away completely unscathed. She noticed a few drops to something red on the ground, and resisted the urge to cry again as she realized one of her wounds was bleeding. She managed to sputter. “Anabel, the pain…” Annabel simply nodded. “I know.” Holly wondered how literal that was, with a woman's ability to sense pain. Regardless, Holly could see Anabel opening what appeared to be a first aid kit. Anabel rapidly cleaned the wounds and holy felt relief flowing through her as the blood from one of them stopped trickling. However, she quickly gasped again as Anabel put something that stung on her wound. The woman quickly looked up to explain. “It's for helping ward off infections. With all that dirt and rock, I don't want to take any chances.” Holly nodded. Despite the stinging, Anabel at least had good reason. And before long, Holly felt her injuries being bandaged up, relief flooded through her again as she realized she no longer had look at them. But that relief soon turned to tears threatening to spill as Holly faced Anabel. Her voice shook again, and I could feel herself getting choked up. “I'm sorry… I'll never complain about the tether again… If you hadn't been there, I’d…” Holly shuddered as tears began to overwhelm her again. Anabel gestured, and Holly wiped her face with the handkerchief again. The woman cut her off, stating warmly. “I'm just glad you're okay.” Anabel let out a sigh. “And really, I'm the one that should be sorry.” Holly cocked her head. “What for?” Annabel shook her head and she explained. “For not lighting the cave up. Skilled trainers sometimes will navigate caves without letting them up. They don't have to bring an extra Pokémon that way. And since there was plenty of skill in our group, I didn't think we would have an issue… Trainers being injured from rockfalls aren’t commonly reported, so I'd honestly forgotten about them until Kris mentioned it.” Holly's eyes widened. Kris! Where was she? The disabled trainer had not appeared at all during the rockfall, or even after it! And she hadn't lit up the place at all… Did that mean… She was wandering lost? Had she found a way to escape after all? Holly yelled so loud she thought echoed in the cave. “Kris! Where is she? I don't see her, and I didn't see her before…” Anabel shook her head. “I don't know, Holly. She fled in terror as soon as the rockfall started, and her Pokémon followed her. Given the fact that we haven't heard anything the Center, I can only assume she's still in the cave somewhere…” Anabel’s voice trailed off, and Holly could easily detect a note of dread. Before she could reply, Holly was surprised to hear Anabel let out a dark laugh. Holly thought the laugh almost sounded mocking, and wondered how far Anabel's guilt extended. “I guess Kris’s fear was justified.” Holly finally found herself able to speak normally. “Your Kris… Did she have a fear of rockfalls too?” Anabel shook her head. “I don't know. If she did, she never mentioned it to me.” Holly felt herself shudder again. So Kris had run off alone... In a place she was afraid of… And she couldn't even see anything there… And she hadn't contacted to tell them she was safe… So, was Kris hurt? Or dead? Holly quickly yelled. “We have to find her! Who knows what happened to her?” Anabel nodded. “We should be able to, provided we go deeper.” Holly tried not to let her fear show. The last thing she wanted to do was to go further into a cave that nearly killed her. But if it was to find Kris and ensure she was safe, than it was worth it. Holly nodded resolutely, getting to her feet. “All right. Let's go.” Holly that finding Kris would being easy task. After all, the disabled trainer would eventually realize she was safe and make her way back. Yet all the two of them found were rocks and more rocks. Holly was aware of a dull ache in her feet, and wondered how long she could keep going. She and Anabel called Kris’s name, but all that answered was the echoes of their own voices. Holly tried to remain hopeful, yet she could feel the cold leaving her with every step. Her body drooped, and she wondered how long it would be before she crashed to the floor. Yet just when Holly was about to ask Anabel if they could stop, Holly caught sight of a shadow in the distance. She was about to speak, but found out she did not need to. Anabel broke off into a run, and Holly quickly followed. As they got closer, Holly breathed a sigh of relief. The shadow was a person! And she recognized it as the Alola Champion Kahili. Holly knew her relationship with the Alola Champion was not the best. But it could be their only chance for information! As they ran up, Anabel started speaking. “Kahili, have you seen-” Kahili cut her off, stating. “You are looking for your friend, right. She's over there.” Kahili gestured to her left, and Holly could see the light of a fire burning. Holly's eyes followed the light of the fire, and she noticed a woman standing near it. Holly could see that there was calmness and experience in the woman's light blue eyes. However, she also seemed concerned, and gave her full attention to the newcomers. Her blonde hair was rather short, although Holly could see covered all of her neck. She wore turquoise clothing, but also a white cape. It almost reminded Holly of a lab coat, and she wondered if this person was some sort of scientist. The other person wore earrings in the shape of black diamonds, and Holly wondered if the gems are real. But more than that, she wondered why this person brought a feeling of familiarity. Desperately, Holly searched, hoping faded memories would give her some answer. But there was nothing, only confusion. At least until she looked at the beast next is a woman. It was an Entei, just like Anabel's. However, while the two were the same species, they could not have looked more different. Anabel's Entei had flaunted its power, yet this one didn't let out a single roar. And instead of having an intimidating glare, this Pokémon held almost an almost fatherly gaze. Holly wondered if this Entei had children of its own, before remembering that most legendary Pokémon couldn't have children. Perhaps it had adopted one, because it certainly looks like it could. Rather than destroying opponents with a single movement, this Entei was lying beside the woman protectively. And it was curled around something else. Holly’s search for the woman's name was completely forgotten as she noticed just what else the Entei was protecting. Her face went white, and she let out an earsplitting scream. For there, motionless and bleeding, lay Kris.
  13. The weather thread

    Cold here too.
  14. Writing Log

    December 11, 2017 Small update to the traveler series page, with the document now at 26,618 words.
  15. Writing Log

    December 10, 2017 Travel series page got an update and 25,796 words. The regular holy rising RP page got an update at 9200 words.